Learning to Fly Again: Navigating Political & Social Justice Anxiety
- Mikaela Brewer
- Apr 7
- 6 min read
by Mikaela Brewer for The 44 North
Lu Duncan’s younger sister, Juni, picked him up from the train station on an unusually warm April afternoon. On his way home from college, Lu entertained Juni’s new bragging rights—her G2. He sat on his plastic suitcase, sweating as his parents’ old car pulled up, the colour of juniper berries. The air smelled stale and damp, congested with December’s road salt and sand.
Juni rolled down the window, wide purple sunglasses propped on the bridge of her nose, and raised her brows as she pulled up to the curb. She leaned out and asked, “So, what do ya think?”
Lu laughed. “You need to stop growing up. That’s what I think.”
“I’m doing it for us both, clearly. You’re standing there like a fool, squinting and sweating.”
Lu laughed, loading his suitcase and backpack into the back of the car, then climbing into the passenger seat.
“Ready?” Juni asked, her wrist a fulcrum on the steering wheel for a slack hand.
Lu nodded, trying to take off his sweatshirt with his seatbelt already done up.
Juni laughed. “I rest my case.”
After a few minutes of navigating through the busy station, they had a ten-minute drive home.
“Have you heard from the others?” Lu asked, eager to soak up anything related to the friends he’d missed so much. Lu and Juni were only a few years apart—Juni in grade eleven and Lu in his first year of university. They’d been in a dedicated, inseparable friend group since middle school, and this was the end of their first year living in different cities (for those who were older).
“A bit, yeah. You know, everyone’s just finishing exams, reading the news, thinking about jobs they don’t want to do this spring and summer.”
“Right, right.” Lu answered, somewhat disappointed. “They haven’t said where they’re working?”
“Not really. We’ve all been kind of quiet. Even everyone who’s still at McCormack High.”
“Okay, well, what are you doing for fun? Like, what’s making you happy these days?”
“Hmph. Happy? Really?”
“What?”
“Nobody’s happy, Lu.”
“Juni, joy is important. That’s how we sustain ourselves and each other.”
“Nah, joy is for ignorant people. For privileged people.”
Lu wasn’t sure what to say. He didn’t recognize this version of his sister. The silence between them felt awkward for the first time in his life. But Juni didn’t seem to notice. It was like she was on another, barren planet.
He watched the naked trees lining the boulevard whip past. The sun was hot through the car window, but it didn’t suit such empty skies, lawns, and streets. He thought it must be baking the bareness.
“So, what have you been up to?”
“Literally nothing. Bed. News. Tik Tok.”
“That doesn’t sound like you.”“What’s that supposed to mean? Nothing sounds like anything right now. The world feels apocalyptic and I’m too scared to go anywhere so I stay home and stay informed.”
“But how’s that helping you or anyone else?”
“Maybe this is just how it has to be right now? Until it’s safe to help?”
“Juni, despair is intentional. It controls. Our politicians aren’t magically going to make it feel safe one day.”
“I don’t feel despair. I repost things on IG. But I don’t have the energy to do anything. I’m exhausted. And we don’t have the money to donate to anything or anyone.”
“I feel it all too, girl. Trust me. Maybe we can do other things though, together, and not have it be exhausting?”
Juni didn’t say anything, she just gripped the steering wheel and pushed her glasses up her nose.
“You know? Young people like us are entering workplaces for spring and summer jobs. It’s kind of an interesting time. Maybe there’s a way we can do something?” Lu tried one more time to reach his sister.
Juni just kept driving until they got home. Lu only hoped it was because she was thinking about what he’d said.
***
After Lu got settled, unpacked a few things, and watched Juni close the door behind her in her bedroom, he sent a voice message to their group chat.
“Hey! Just got home! Anyone wanna come over and catch up?”
A few hours went by and no one answered. Lu changed his plan.
He ran around the flat gathering construction paper, bristol board, glue, scissors, old magazines, and any other craft supplies, including his pipe cleaner caterpillars from kindergarten. He laid out an old beach towel on the lawn behind their apartment building, by the patio, and spread out all the materials. It was time to make a vision-board-butterfly.
Lu’s favourite model was The Butterfly of Transformative Social Change, from Soul Fire Farm. He’d also seen an incredible zine by Christine Tyler Hill.
The framework included four wings: resist, reform, build, and heal.
Lu drew a large butterfly on his blue bristol board—not well, so he giggled a bit. He outlined the four sections—resist, reform, build, and heal—with a sparkly gold marker, and created a few segments in each wing, rimmed in shimmery red.
Just as the Soul Fire Farm model suggested, Lu started thinking about his skills, passions, and capacity. The butterfly can’t fly without all of its wings. He knew he couldn’t do everything, but he could do more than he thought.
Lu felt a bit overwhelmed at first, so on a separate sheet of paper, he began to write down and organize notes. He chose his four favourite-coloured label-stickers and a white marker (to show up on the blue bristol board). He plugged his favourite brainstorm playlist—Beethoven Blues by Jon Batiste—into a speaker and took a bite from a graham cracker, peanut butter, and banana sandwich he’d made (one of a plate-full). Go time.
Resist
I don’t have a car, so attend local protests I can get to with public transit! Or ask Juni!
Reform
Share info I collect with my pod & on social media:
Research & sign petitions
Follow & share human rights-centred news sources!
Build
Grow my friend group into a pod, maybe including co-workers at Costco when I work there this summer:
Potluck dinners!
Work through the info in my reform section!
Location sharing group for safety
Volunteer at community farms, forests, and gardens—I know a lot about plants from Granny Sarah’s farm!
Heal
Plan gifts & travel in advance so I can find local, ethical options!
DIY art & projects (for literally everything)
Check in with my disabled friends—is anything on my butterfly ableist?
Just as Lu was getting ready to add stickers, more glitter, and magazine cutouts, Juni’s shadow appeared over the pile of materials.
“What are you doing?” she asked, with a mildly sarcastic tone.
“Making a plan I feel good about and like I can do confidently.”
“A plan for what?”
“To remember how to fly when I feel like I can’t. Or when I feel like humans can’t.”
“Through the window it sounded like you were just vibing out here.”
“Making a plan and vibing don’t have to be different.” Lu winked.
Juni smiled, and jogged back inside.
In less than thirty minutes, the backyard of the apartment building was corked with craft supplies and huge butterflies, which were later taped to the insides of front windows so the neighbours could see them. A few of Lu and Juni’s friends made smaller copies to paste onto their work lockers and share with coworkers.
The group began to grow as more and more local community members wanted to learn how to fly again. Lu and Juni crafted more pipe cleaner caterpillars as gifts to wear as rings, bracelets, and necklaces—reminders-on-the-go. They’d forgotten how many pipe cleaners were left over! Clearly, it wasn’t just a phase. And whenever anyone felt anxious, afraid, and unsettled, everyone sat with those emotions as a group. And then, together, they opened their wings and flew.
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