By Abbigale Kernya for The 44 North

Managing Editor

This is my first Christmas away from home. 

Not away as in university or somewhere thirty minutes away, trying to make a landlord's special house a home. I mean away as in 4,000 kilometres away. I love everything about British Columbia and my little life on the island. I love the misty mornings as the night’s rain rolls off the mountains and the lizards under my feet and the weather that never really gets that cold. Not like the cold back home. Not like anything I’m used to back home, really. 

It’s a strange feeling to call this place home when it’s so unfamiliar to everything I’ve ever come to recognize these past twenty-two years. It’s even stranger to put up my Charlie-Brown-tree in my one-bedroom apartment, knowing that somewhere along those kilometres between me and home, family traditions aren’t interrupted by someone’s absence. For me, being that someone comes with a different sort of winter blues. 

I love everything about my home here on Vancouver Island, but no matter how many peppermint candles I light or ornaments I collect for my future family, I am still waiting for the unfamiliar sense of grief to make room for my holiday in my new life. It can be hard to start your own traditions away from your family, knowing that while you are crafting holiday magic of your own, there is also a missing piece where you used to stand. That is the sort of grief I’m feeling this holiday: the guilt of growing up and the understanding that everything is going to be different now.

The most important part of going through the motions that come with spending holidays away from family is that it is okay for things to be different—it would be strange if they weren’t! In this stage of adulthood, I find myself standing in the doorway of understanding that part of life is to start your own, while holding gratitude close to your chest for the memories and celebrations that got you to where you are now. 

Alternatively, I imagine my parents at twenty-two (also living on this island away from home), beginning their lives separate from their families. I imagine my mother excited and scared and maybe a little sad to be so far away during our favourite time of the year, but grinning like a Cheshire Cat at all of the unpaved paths lying ahead (to us!).

Coming up on six months of living here, I get asked a lot what it feels like to be living across the country from everyone and everything I called home. The usual “how are you doing?” or “Does it get lonely?” or even, “You can always come home.”

While those questions can be tackled with equal parts excitement and fear at any given point in the year, I think the holidays set the table with a different set of emotions—one that definitely isn’t helped by the 4 PM sunset and bitter, wet weather clouding the otherwise natural serotonin our bodies need to think clearly. In this sense, yes, I am feeling lonely. 

And that is okay.

It’s normal to feel lonely, it’s normal to feel guilty, and it’s normal to miss your family and friends a little extra this holiday season. While holding the grief—and perhaps even a little guilt—in your hands, it’s important to recognize there is nothing selfish about whatever adventure you are on that takes you away from wherever it is you call home. At the end of the day, the holidays aren’t specific to one place. The things that bring us joy in this season (connection, giving, family, etc.) can be found anywhere. Just because you may not be there physically, doesn’t mean you are any less deserving of celebration or holiday joy.

We create the magic in this season—not big box stores and not fancy wrapping paper or Black Friday shopping, but humans coming together to make this holiday as special as it is.

So yes, I know it’s hard to not be there (physically at least!). 

That said, remember that you exist in a time where it is lightning-fast and easy to hop on the phone, hop on FaceTime, or send a postcard in the mail that arrives the next day. If coming together is what you miss, either the familiar baking traditions or holiday eve movie marathon, nothing is stopping you from filling your new home with the warm aroma of nostalgia to celebrate together, even if not together in the way you wish.

And remember, everything is always a plane, train, bus, or car ride away.

by Abbigale Kernya, ​for The 44 North

Managing Editor

Genre: Non-Fiction

“It reminded me that when we know about suffering, when we are proximal to it, we are capable of extraordinary generosity. We can do and be so much for each other. But only when we see one another in our full humanity. Not as statistics or problems, but as people who deserve to be alive in the world.”

― John Green, Everything Is Tuberculosis

Lately, I’ve been thinking about COVID. 

But I still skip every episode from whatever TV show in 2020 where a pandemic invades the static screen. I don’t want to talk about it, and yes, I also can’t believe it happened. 

Sometimes I’m catapulted five years ago in the smallest of places: Standing on the crusted six-feet-apart footprints scuffed on the grocery store floor, or a blue mask snagged on a trash bin, or even the sharp moment of panic when a stranger sneezes on the bus.

Despite all my shoving and pushing it down into a crevice of my memory, the pandemic still happened, and we are still living through it. I still think about it, even when I don’t want to.

John Green is the first person to untangle my stress ball of past anxiety and future confusion about illness into one tidy book. It fundamentally changed my life. Everything is Tuberculosis follows the illness (or, “consumption,” as it was so often glorified as a beautiful wasting disease of the rich and privileged) through the threads of class and capitalism in the past centuries. Green weaves us through the romanticization of the “white man’s disease” to now, where the raging class disparities around the globe ignite the fire for consumption to not only rage on, but fuel humanitarian crises like gasoline on a brush fire.

What took this book (by no means a solely historical textbook) from a simple Crash Course about disease to a commentary on beauty and capitalism was Green’s account of travelling to Sierra Leone to see first-hand how a disease—that was once considered desirable for its beauty and attraction to upper-class intelligence—is now the beacon for a humanitarian crisis. 

In a calling card to end the disparity between the tuberculosis (TB) crisis and access to medication and vaccines, Green details the story of a little boy, Henry, treated in a Sierra Leone hospital. A hospital it may have been, but one much different from the one you and I and John are familiar with. One that is denied access to life-saving medicine. One that is impoverished by colonialism, past and present, and one where children die of an easily curable disease for the sole reason that they were born in a country that the rest of the world turned a blind eye to.

Green details his relationship with Henry throughout the book, from innocent childlike wonder to recounting stories of Henry’s family, where disease and poverty have taken more than just his childhood. Despite the catastrophic humanitarian crisis invading Henry’s lungs, he is hopeful. He is brave, and he fundamentally changes Green’s life. 

The othering of the ill is not something special to our tiny pocket in time, but rather a telltale sign of how disease is treated based on class, race, and access to medicine. From belladonna’s use in the 1800s as a cosmetic to mimic the pale, feverish look of consumption, to the vilification of TB when poor marginalized communities fell victim, to the current rise of unnatural thinness that plagues the beauty standard of our post-COVID society. Everything is connected, and everything is curable.

To paraphrase perhaps my favourite line in the entire book: Where there is a humanitarian crisis, you will find TB. Where there is poverty and colonialism and people stuck under the boot of centuries of oppression, you will find TB. This disease does not compromise on its victims; it does not judge or offer plea deals. Instead, we as humans are the sole perpetrators of the thousands and thousands of deaths every year from this entirely curable disease. It is when humans fail to act, or don’t care, or put profit over human lives, that TB will show up.

It is hard for me to briefly explain how much of an impact this book had on not only my relationship to illness, but also how I view the world. Green makes an excellent argument throughout the entire book that there is no reason that humans should die of a disease like TB. There is no logical reason that in a world where humans have gone to space and built electric cars that even one human life dies from an entirely preventable illness. In that case, tuberculosis is not a disease of medicine, but rather a disease of human empathy and the cavern standing between suffering and power.

Everything is Tuberculosis is as gentle with human spirit as it is fundamentally important to understanding the politics of human suffering. From tender-hearted stories of compassion and generosity, to a century-long study into illness as a catalyst for global misunderstanding of what it means to be alive. 

by Mikaela Brewer, ​for The 44 North

Senior Editor

Editor's Note: A few weeks ago, on October 27th, I was catching up on emails and messages. I’d just had all four wisdom teeth removed a few days prior, and debated whether or not to venture into Instagram. For some reason, I decided to check, and in my DMs was a message from Extended Mic’s founder, Mariana, inviting me to a Season 1 launch event. It was that evening, so I couldn’t attend, but a door had been opened…

I soon learned that Extended Mic fosters an editorial production where spoken word poets put everything on the line; they redefine poetry in a way that’s never been seen. Mariana and I began chatting, and I knew Extended Mic would be a perfect fit for our December Artist Spotlight. We decided to record the spotlight in person, in Toronto. After meeting for coffee and realizing we shared many artistic and poetic ideas, interests, and passions, we captured the honest, authentic, and poet-centred interview you see below. 

I dearly hope you enjoy the video and written versions of our conversation as much as we did. 

Before we begin, let’s take a moment to spotlight Extended Mic’s Season 1 Poets and their stunning poetry.

Extended Mic Season 1 Poets Spotlight

Chris Ferreiras

“Protect What I Want From Me” is an expansive excavation of desire as hunger—as it both lives within and is imposed upon us. Chris weaves through feelings of guilt, longing to never need again, our inability to put out the internal fire of want, and the awareness that one of the oldest ways to meet need—to at least appease a void—is to write a poem. 

Protect What I Want From Me

Chris Ferreiras is an artist, author and poet with a magic for depth and universal truths. His words show you the secrets of the world. Chris is an established poet with a published book, “The Sun Underground & All The Colours In Between,” and a clothing collection, ‘Salt Into Gold’. 

Andrea Josic

“On Queer Platonic Love” is a generous guide to redefining platonic love: building a practice and commitment to making love with one another, like finding water in a desert. Andrea beautifully braids together trust, loneliness, conditionless touch, and grounding our humanness as love—as home.

On Queer Platonic Love

Andrea, poet laureate (2024–2026), is a writer, an award-winning poet (2019, 2020), performer, journalist, arts educator, and creative who makes space for belonging, mental health, and healing.

Andrea offers a variety of services, including performances, workshops, copywriting and editing, journalism, commissions, and 1-on-1 coaching.

Sincerelytg

“Meet Me Half Way” is a searing portrait of how someone we love can exploit our desires, needs, and care by hiding behind their wounds—in the real and metaphorical dark. Tasha places this truth in conversation with the plea to be, at least, met halfway—to be seen, held, and accepted for the wounds we carry into and through relationships.

Meet Me Half Way

Tasha is a poet with recent involvement in the sea of words. Her poetry speaks to all hearts, focusing deeply on love, self-love, and the intricacies of being a human. Tasha’s debut happened at an art event, 'Sometimes I Think Too Much,' in December of 2024, where she stepped into the world of Spoken Word for the first time.

Hannah Flores

“Sorry for the Smoke” shares a breathtaking story of the roots and impacts of climate change, particularly on the body, centring those most impacted by its wake of violence. Through the metaphor and imagery of smoking, Hannah’s poem shifts from ‘you’ to ‘we,’ emphasizing collective responsibility while peeling away the blame often placed on how people survive climate catastrophe. 

Sorry For The Smoke

Hannah Flores is an award-winning poet, biologist, and storyteller. Hannah is the rare bridge between the empirical and the magical, with honourable mentions in both Art and Science. She is the top 25 under 25 environmentalists and a 2023 BeSpatial Ontario Student Award Winner. She holds countless features across Raptors, FIFA, Dove, TED and many, many more local platforms.

kaswithlove

“out west” invites us to stand strong within our stories and truly feel the coexistence of empowerment and lingering fears of unworthiness. The poem takes on a road trip that finds reasons to live, chasing hope that we can’t always feel or see in the wake of memory, scars, and rage. kawwithlove offers life with the beautiful juxtaposition of love, protest, community, and dreaming.

out west

kaswithlove is a poet and writer based in Toronto. kaswithlove encompasses a published book, realizations; custom poetry at poesy.ca on an old typewriter; and poetry events at poetrydecoded.to, a core poetry/art organization in Toronto where he co-creates and curates events and workshops.

Poettray 

“P.B.U.Y” is an unflinching, thoughtful reminder that colonial, performative peace is often conflated with safety and liberation (as Kwame Ture (Stokely Carmichael) once said). Using rhyme, rhythm, repetition, and pacing, Poettray further reminds us that lived experiences in the Black community—particularly painful ones—are often assumed, tokenized, and exploited in non-profit and policy spaces. “P.B.U.Y” speaks a vital truth: safe spaces and people aren’t something we claim, but earn through care as action.

P.B.U.Y

Tray is a poet deeply involved in all aspects of life. His work ranges from fundamental Spoken Word performances across Toronto to facilitating workshops such as “The Healing Verse” and “Where Water Meets Stone.” He is the founder of a community to empower black men to break cycles @hoodman2manhood and Raps songs such as “Time & Space” ft Kinkade.

Nomo

“Let's Talk About Us” is sharp, witty, and musically layered verse that confidently questions and reclaims the language men weaponize to impose control, expectation, and superiority on women in relationships. With repeating melodies and intentionally chosen words, Nomo truly does talk about—and speak to—all of us. 

Let's Talk About Us

Nomo has a talent for incorporating rhymes and melody in her poetry, which carries you away along the path her voice paves (you learn a lesson while you’re at it, too). Her work is often found in poetry and art events around the city of Toronto. 

Molly Cole

“That Look In Your Eye” explores how desire can feel raw outside of our control. Alongside this, Molly asks us to question how we might locate desire by looking into our own eyes. Incorporating cinematic storytelling, “That Look In Your Eye” shows us how to see desire directed inward, feel it, and cross rivers to one day love its reflection. 

That Look In Your Eye

Molly is a writer, filmmaker and artist. She likes to explore the world, question the unquestionable, and her work is about connecting to our oneness as humans and the magic of life. She explores topics with reflection, philosophy and most importantly, play.

Interview

Transcript lightly edited for flow & clarity

44N: Hi! I’m Mikaela with The 44 North Magazine. I'm our senior editor, and we’re a magazine that focuses on social issues that matter to our audience. We go about that through art, essays, and featuring incredible work by artists such as Mariana with Extended Mic. Mariana, I'm very grateful to be chatting with you today. 

EM: Well, thank you for having me. 

44N: Wonderful. So, just to jump right in: You noted many times that—and I'll quote you from your website—“For the longest time, music, photography, film and paintings have easily gained attention as the world modernizes the way we consume art. And you’ve said that poetry, however, has always been confined to a book, text, or photo.” I would love it if you could share a bit more about your poetry journey, discovering poetry’s profound impact on people’s lives, and how you discovered that people love this art form, but maybe lack exposure to it.

EM: I started my poetry journey—which ties to Poesy who [Extended Mic] is partnering with—writing poems for people. I write poetry on the spot, on a typewriter. And every time I write a poem for someone, they’re impressed and touched by words and by poetry itself.

Every time I present poetry to someone, it would make them happy—they would resonate with it. So I realized that people really do like poetry. It's just that there aren’t enough spaces for poetry to be introduced to people who aren’t connected to the artistic world in the same way they are with music, painting, photography, and film. All of these feel more present in people’s lives. And poetry isn’t, as much, because many don't have or can’t take the time to pick up a book, open it, and read it, you know?

So I wanted to present poetry in a fun, different way that hasn’t been seen before. So that's where Extended Mic was born. 

44N: I love that. You're meeting people where they're at with a form that they maybe don't have access to. That connects wonderfully to the guiding image and visual identity that you’ve created for Extended Mic, which is a key poetic device in and of itself. I would love for you to share a bit more about that image and how you came to it. 

EM: Extended Mic is supposed to be, or is, very funky. It’s very colourful, eye-catching, and visually pleasing. I originally got the idea for a platform like this after watching The Colors Show. I was thinking it would be nice to feature a poet sharing their poem in a setting that’s pleasing, satisfying, minimalistic, but also kind of weird. So I think the weirdness and coolness of Extended Mic comes from a balance of funky, colorful, and minimalistic. I wanted to make it eye-catching. That's where the essence of the visual aspect of Extended Mic comes from. 

44N: That's beautiful. And it speaks to what it means to be a poet, too. All those different things coexist. Leading into this season—this very first season of extended Mic—you have eight videos featuring eight poets, and you said that your aim is to make people look, maybe even (hopefully) twice. And I'd love for you to tell us a bit more about this approach and how our first two questions lend to the choices you made.

EM: Yes. The point was to avoid presenting poetry in a video with nothing else. Poetry is a cool form of art, but one that people usually don't see the “coolness” of because the great poets—who paved the way for us—are poets from a long time ago.

They also have a different style. Nowadays, you don't really see modern poets. You might read them, but you don't know what they look like—you don't know their artistic aesthetic. You don't have a sense of the visual—everything that accompanies who an artist is, you know? That's something we built into Extended Mic: it’s not just a video, but something eye-catching to allow you to notice us.

If the words that we're saying aren’t making you look, then we’ll add another element that will so you’ll be interested in what we have to say. Because poets have a lot of things to say that people love, but there's not always [something visually] engaging in poetry. I'm not saying that there's nothing engaging in poetry, but there's something else that I feel called to that’s not on paper or words. That's why Daniella and I had the idea of poets laying down under a curtain with the mic hanging—maybe that’s weird enough to cause curiosity. I feel like curiosity is the right word. That’s what we're looking for. 

44N: Oh, I love that. And it brings to mind for me, “Show, don't tell.” So when we say in poetry, “Show, don't tell” you're bringing that to life with a whole other layer, which is beautiful. And segueing a little bit into your first season with all of these poets, you have eight—as you described—unapologetic, bold, free-thinking poets, of course with exceptional craft and performance skills like you were mentioning. So I'd love it if you would tell us a little more about them and the unique journey that you've been on together to build Season 1.

EM: The poets are the key to everything. Each poet we have for Season 1 is amazing, and [looks at camera] I love you guys so much. Each of them has a very different personality. They also all come from different backgrounds in art. Extended Mic is such a particular project with such a particular visual aspect, including being filmed. Many poets don't share their work in open mics, poetry slam competitions, or music videos, and even if they do, actually being in a video production—being comfortable with being in front of the camera—is new for them. So one thing that was key in choosing poets for Season 1 was just people who were very bold and like you said, unapologetic.

If the poets have one thing in common, it’s that they have the quirkiness and personality to be in front of a camera on a weird set. I'm thankful that I'm not one of the poets because I don't think I would be able to do that! But they did. They were able to be on that set—as uncomfortable and weird as it looks—and pull it off. They are the nicest people on the planet. Being the first season with a completely new approach—and me not having serious experience in producing—they understood the idea right away. This project is for the poets, and it's going to keep going for as many poets as I can bring in. I just want to show people how cool poets are.

44N: You’re offering such a wonderful opportunity to work that maybe wouldn't be seen visually to be seen. And you're right: poets are so often gate kept in a book. Not that books aren't great. We love books. But you're just adding another layer to reach people, which is wonderful. And speaking of that production process, you were talking about taking the poets through promo videos, photo shoots, filming, creative collaboration, social media, and all of those elements. Could you tell us about the magic of Extended Mic's creative ecosystem and what that looked like on the backside? 

EM: In this project, the journey was very long because I didn't want to invite the poets to a studio once, record the videos, and that's all. I wanted to honour quality. So with my resources, I brought everything in that I could to fit the standards we set when we created this project. 

The first thing was meeting everyone, then it was taking them to the photo studio for photo shoots. Afterwards, we recorded the audio of the poems in a music studio. And then, we recorded the videos. We also shot something else that will be coming out soon. So you’ll see it! It's a journey that the poets and I went through together. But I think this comes from wanting to do it well and honour what the project requires.

44N: Such an important process. So much energy and time goes into it and I'm sure you have dreams of expanding beyond what you have for Season 1. You've written that your goals are to film in studios with poets across the world, continuing to disrupt traditional poetry formats—

EM: [Laughs] I was just thinking that I wrote that when I was so excited to do this, and I actually forgot that I wanted to do it across the world. I do want to, and it’s wonderful to remember that. 

44N: I love giving energy to an old dream! And I know you hope to bring new perspectives through this high quality visual experience. You said, “Featuring meaningful poems that rebel against shallow art,” which is so well said. What can the poetry community (and beyond) look forward to next, outside of your seasons? 

EM: The end goal is still to take Extended Mic across the world, because I feel it’s a project that I'm going to do for the rest of my life. So if I do it for the rest of my life, eventually I will want to cover more than just the place where I live.

In the future, it will be fun to discover poets and more meaningful poetry across the world. There's so much that poets can say outside of traditional topics. There's nothing wrong with these, I just want change. 

I remember, when I was younger, I would dream about having a megaphone. In the dream, I’d be speaking to everyone—setting everyone free. I just love that; telling everyone things to encourage them to rebel.

I feel like poetry is that. The poems that I want to include in Extended Mic will be, of course, meaningful, and they’ll have to speak to people and say something. 

Season 1 is still breathing, and it's going to be alive for some time. But yes, for the poetry community, at least in Toronto, you can expect a second season and a third and a fourth and so on.

44N: So exciting. And I'm hearing Extended Mic as a megaphone?

EM: You know what? Extended Mic came from the idea of having a really long mic cord on set. In the end, we didn't go for that, at least not for Season 1, but for Season 2, hopefully.

44N: A fantastic segue into our very last question. Season 1 launched! It's out—everybody can watch it and listen to it. And you had a kickoff event in October, recently on the 27th, after a year of such hard and thoughtful creative work. It featured a screening of Season 1 and opportunities to gather with other poets in the Toronto poetry community. And I would love it if you could give a recap of the event, the vibe, and just make everybody more excited. 

EM: The event was amazing. It was everything that I could have imagined and dreamed of—even more. The purpose was accomplished, which was essentially to create and feed community in the city. The event did exactly that. Everyone was super nice. Everyone was super happy. We screened the poems and people were engaging with them.

The number one reason why I wanted to do an event was to honour the poets (and the project). So I put together a mini gallery, spotlighting photos of the whole process that we went through. I also created a set design and other things like that.

This event really opened doors for me into what's possible and what people really enjoy, which at the end of the day, is being in community and being supportive of something.

With the event, we sent the videos and poems off, essentially saying, “This is yours now.” I can't wait to do it all over again. 

44N: So good to hear. It's always so wonderful to be in community with other poets and to be surrounded by art in general—something that so many people have worked hard on. To have it all come together is a gift to the community in such a beautiful way because it's so accessible. 

It's on YouTube. Is there any other way that you would want to share for folks to engage with it? 

EM: Yes, you can watch all eight videos on Extended Mic’s YouTube. As the YouTubers say, you can subscribe, like, comment, and share! I'm going to be posting clips on our Instagram, but the full videos are on YouTube. 

44N: So wonderful to chat with you. We're honored at The 44 North, and excited to have Mariana and Extended Mic as our Artist Spotlight for this issue. Definitely check out the written and video version of this conversation. Thank you so much.

EM: Thank you!